So I promised a positive post, full of bunnies and kittens and rainbows issuing forth from unicorns. Joy and laughter and smiles and other happy shit. 

I lied. I lied to you through blog. I suck.  

I had a bad night, full of those horrible dreams where everything is vivid and real and strange. The dreams where all the people are real, the ones you see or talk to everyday but they are all just a bit off, like a Neil Gaiman children’s book, and no matter what you do you can’t break out of it. You wake up with tears on your face and these horrid images of people you love pushing all your buttons and saying nasty things, those things your psyche knows will break you down. I hate those dreams so very much. 

And now, I am back at work. Where every drop of joy and happiness you are clinging to gets immediately sucked through the vents the moment you step inside. They can’t just settle for your soul, oh no, Corporate America must have your happiness as well. After all, in this economy souls are worthless, much like three bedroom ranches with a fenced in yard and carport. Cheerfulness, contentment, peace of mind, wrenched from the hearts of the working masses, desperate to keep their jobs- this is where the real money is, just ask Wall Street.  The bitterness, it is sweet. 

Misery has opted to stay for a while, along with my wildly flailing hormones that seem to be on some kind of mission to prove just who is boss of my mental state. They are on a rampage, changing my mood every hour from depressed to sleepy to angry to melancholy to sad back to sleepy with a little hopelessness thrown in for good measure. I miss birth control. The IUD saves time and money but damn this is hell. 

Even my metaphors suck… sigh.    

Title Credits: The Simpsons, of course. Episode Quoted -Homer and Apu 5.13