No, I don’t know what is wrong with the site or why it is loading funny, I’m working on fixing it…

Reading: Skimming books I haven’t seen in a while as I pack, there is a TON 

Watching: True Blood on DVD and So You Think You Can Dance? (I can’t wait for cable!) 

Listening: Matt King- I’m totally obsessed with him right now! 

Shopping: Target, for boxes and duct tape 

Playing: The “how many books can I fit in this box?” game, it’s a blast 

I promised a friend I’d update so here we go… I’ve got four lined up for the day, but until I finish moving, this will probably be it for a few weeks. And yes, I’ve got ghost hunting stuff to finish writing up, just give me a little more time…
 

So I’m moving into a house with the Boy. Some days I’m so excited I can hardly stand the wait, other days I want to slap myself and scream ‘What the fuck are you thinking?!”
 

This is a big step, a huge step for me. I’m giving up any semblance of financial independence and it is scary as hell. The fact is I can’t afford the house we are moving into on my own. I could make it work for a month if I had to, maybe even two, barely. Other than that, I’m screwed. So while I trust him and don’t actually believe he’d ever leave me like that, just the idea that I can’t afford all the bills makes me feel nauseous.
 

It’s difficult to explain why I feel this way. Some of my friends instantly ‘get’ what I’m talking about and others stare at me like I’m a lunatic when I try to explain how anxious this situation makes me. See, I now have to rely on the Boy to keep the bills paid, and there is really nothing I can do about it, except keep trying to find a better paying job. I feel useless and needy and just generally icky whenever I think about it.
 

Also, the loss of my own space is scaring me silly. I LOVE living alone. I love having all my stuff wherever I want it, with no one else’s opinion to worry about. I am a greedy, selfish, spoiled person and that makes it really hard to live with someone.As the Boy will tell you any chance he gets, he is giving up the opportunity to ever live on his own. This is a Big Thing to us both. I’ve offered him multiple chances to put things off for a year or two so he can revel in the joys of being completely alone, but he declines. Still, having lived alone the last two years, I know how great it can be. It’s going be an enormous adjustment for me to live with other people after all this time. We both will have our own ‘rooms’ away from our joint bedroom, which I hope will go a long way towards easing me into the change.
 

With those two major issues you’d think I’d be dreading Moving Day, but there really is a lot of positives and I am excited to move forward with our relationship. More space is a definite plus, it is a better location for both of us and much cheaper than living separately too. There are other things I’m concerned about, like chores and money and the fact that it isn’t just the two of us, but I think it’ll work out. I don’t think it’ll be easy by any means, but it I’m hoping it’ll be worth it in the end.  I’m just preparing myself for a bitch for a transition.